Suggest appropriate revisions
key notes :
1. Understanding Revision
- Revision means making changes to improve the clarity, structure, and overall quality of a written piece.
- It involves reviewing and rethinking your writing to ensure that it communicates effectively with the intended audience.
2. Types of Revisions
- Content Revision: Adding, removing, or reorganizing information to make the writing more effective. This could include adding more details, reworking unclear sections, or removing irrelevant information.
- Structural Revision: Adjusting the organization of the writing (e.g., paragraph order, logical flow, introduction and conclusion clarity).
- Language and Style Revision: Improving word choice, sentence structure, tone, and style to make the writing more engaging and accurate.
- Grammar and Punctuation Revision: Correcting errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling, and sentence structure to enhance readability.
3. Revision Process
- Read through the Draft: Begin by reading your work carefully to identify areas that need improvement.
- Identify Weaknesses: Look for sections where the writing is unclear, confusing, or repetitive.
- Ask Questions: Consider questions like, “Does this point support my thesis?” or “Is the structure logical?”
- Make Changes: Based on your analysis, make appropriate revisions to improve content, structure, and style.
- Peer Review: Ask a peer to review your writing, as they may catch mistakes or suggest improvements that you missed.
4. Suggestions for Appropriate Revisions
- Be Specific: Provide clear suggestions for revisions. For example, instead of saying, “Add more details,” suggest specific areas that need elaboration.
- Focus on Clarity: Ensure that the writing is easy to understand and that ideas are clearly communicated.
- Strengthen Thesis/Argument: If the writing lacks focus, suggest ways to strengthen the thesis or main argument.
- Enhance Transitions: Point out where transitions between ideas or paragraphs could be smoother for better flow.
- Revise for Conciseness: Eliminate unnecessary words, phrases, or repetitive ideas that don’t add value to the piece.
- Vary Sentence Structure: Suggest changing sentence length and structure to add variety and maintain the reader’s interest.
5. Final Steps
- After making revisions, read the piece again to ensure it has improved and is ready for submission.
- Review all revisions to confirm they support the writing’s purpose and improve its quality.
Learn with an example
🎯 Read the following excerpt from a student essay. How can the writer best improve their organization?
In the 1800s, egrets were hunted in the United States for their long white plumes (feathers). As a result, the birds were nearly wiped out completely. Thankfully, conservation measures were put in place, and the birds were protected. In fact, in recent years, egrets have expanded their range northwards, moving beyond their original habitat in the American South. The egret is a large white bird that lives near marshes, lakes, ponds and other wetland areas.
- by providing the description of egrets when they are first introduced
- by removing the sentence about the egrets’ expanded range
The writer could best improve their organization by providing the description of egrets when they are first introduced.
For example, the writer could move the underlined text to the beginning of the paragraph.
In the 1800s, egrets were hunted in the United States for their long white plumes (feathers). As a result, the birds were nearly wiped out completely. Thankfully, conservation measures were put in place, and the birds were protected. In fact, in recent years, egrets have expanded their range northwards, moving beyond their original habitat in the American South. The egret is a large white bird that lives near marshes, lakes, ponds and other wetland areas.
🎯 Read the following excerpt from a student essay. How can the writer best improve their organisation?
In the 1800s, egrets were hunted in the United States for their long white plumes (feathers). As a result, the birds were nearly wiped out completely. Thankfully, conservation measures were put in place, and the birds were protected. In fact, in recent years, egrets have expanded their range northwards, moving beyond their original habitat in the American South. The egret is a large white bird that lives near marshes, lakes, ponds and other wetland areas.
- by providing the description of egrets when they are first introduced
- by removing the sentence about the egrets’ expanded range
The writer could best improve their organisation by providing the description of egrets when they are first introduced.
For example, the writer could move the underlined text to the beginning of the paragraph.
In the 1800s, egrets were hunted in the United States for their long white plumes (feathers). As a result, the birds were nearly wiped out completely. Thankfully, conservation measures were put in place, and the birds were protected. In fact, in recent years, egrets have expanded their range northwards, moving beyond their original habitat in the American South. The egret is a large white bird that lives near marshes, lakes, ponds and other wetland areas.
🎯 Read the following excerpt from a student essay. How can the writer best improve their organisation?
In the 1800s, egrets were hunted in the United States for their long white plumes (feathers). As a result, the birds were nearly wiped out completely. Thankfully, conservation measures were put in place, and the birds were protected. In fact, in recent years, egrets have expanded their range northwards, moving beyond their original habitat in the American South. The egret is a large white bird that lives near marshes, lakes, ponds and other wetland areas.
- by providing the description of egrets when they are first introduced
- by removing the sentence about the egrets’ expanded range
The writer could best improve their organisation by providing the description of egrets when they are first introduced.
For example, the writer could move the underlined text to the beginning of the paragraph.
In the 1800s, egrets were hunted in the United States for their long white plumes (feathers). As a result, the birds were nearly wiped out completely. Thankfully, conservation measures were put in place, and the birds were protected. In fact, in recent years, egrets have expanded their range northwards, moving beyond their original habitat in the American South. The egret is a large white bird that lives near marshes, lakes, ponds and other wetland areas.
let’s practice!
Read the following excerpt from a student essay. How can the writer best improve their grammar and mechanics?
When I’m asked to name my favourite teacher, I immediately think of Mr Sweeney. In his class, Mr Sweeney taught us all about architecture he had the class start by learning to measure things very accurately. We studied environmentally friendly building methods, and we designed and built our own homes of the future. Mr Sweeney was always fun and interesting, he believed that we could do more than we thought we could do. He helped me break boundaries in my life, he was a positive influence on me and will always be one of the most inspirational people in my life.